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of all the hubs I've labored to write, "this" hub just may be the one that wins me some kind of a HubPages award. Well, you can't blame me for dreaming. Can you? Sincerely, .
Today, I would like to talk about clowns. Time was, Iloved clowns. Iwas seven at the time. And like all of my toys and diversions, clowns grew boring, and I let them fade out of my life as Igrew into adulthood.
Idon't know why nor can I give you a sensible explanation, I am just overly analytical of clowns and their backgrounds. I have lost sleep at night pondering clowns.
I guess this all started about a year or so ago, when I was watching a brilliant documentary on The Discovery Channel about "unusual jobs," and wouldn't you know it. The vocation of "clown," wasn't mentioned. That got me to thinking. And getting upset at the same time.
Imean, really. Why not mention clowns? They are as important as oyster shuckers aren't they? Yeah, right on, clowns! We have your back.
Actually, I do not know exactly where to begin this story. It has so many area's that Icannot touch on the segments that are so wide and various. It would take a team of hubbers to do this story justice.
I can start by saying that there will always be a warm spot for "Bozo, The Clown," and EmmetKelley, for these guys were "the Wholesale Sunglasses best," when it came to being clowns. They were, in my view, "master clowns" among clowns."
It is funny now that Ifind myself writing this hub, Inever dreamed of being a clown when time Wholesale Fake Sunglasses came for me to choose an occupation and settle down. That bothers me. Ithink Iwould have made a very decent clown.
To start. Ido not think that any young boy or girl, when the thought of jobs pops inside their heads, immediately to go their parents and say, "daddy, (or mommy), Iknow what I want to be when Igrow up."
Their dad or mom will of course, drop what they are doing and reply, "what's that, "Little Billy?" And "Little Billy, with twinkling eyes will say, " a Fake Sunglasses clown, daddy. (or mommy). A clown!"
Alfred Hitchcock couldn't touch this for a scene in a horror film about "Clowns Gone Bad." By Paramount, of course.
So years pass. "Little Billy Wilson," continues to dream of being a clown. He talks about his clown dreams to everyone he meets including his pastor, Rev. Dooley Whitworth, an humble messenger of God for over 20 years. But upon hearing "Little Billy's" dream, he gently tries to tell him the harsh realities that await him when he embarks on a career of being a clown. Rev. Whitworth is always willing to listen to a troubled youth.
"Little Billy," with even brighter twinkles in his eyes says to Rev. Whitworth, "thanks, pastor, but Ilive in America, where people who dream can do what they set out to do, and I'm gonna be the best clown you ever saw."
What a determined youngster. Wish that more "Little Billy's" existed in our society.
Of course, to shorten the story, "Little Billy," finished all of his schooling, including college, and sought out to fulfill his dream of being "the best," clown in the world, but he was derailed by a pair of sultry, blue eyes who belonged to a "Tiffany Anne Westbrook," a rich socialite from Brooklyn. The two, although from different worlds, fell madly in love and Billy, the adult, went to work for "Tiffany's" dad who owned a shoe factory. But the benefits were good. "Tiffany's" dad gave them a rent free house, a used Studebaker and short hours for Billy, his humble son in law.
Am I, a sometimes sensible man in 2012, given to wild imaginations about unobvious areas of life, to believe that somewhere in our vast world, "is" an institution for the training and grooming of "clowns?" A regular "clown college," as it were? I have never, in my 58 years of living, heard of such a place.
Iknow that clowns have to get their start somewhere, so let's suppose, for time's sake, there "is" a "clown college," in existence. Cheap Replica Sunglasses
What would be it's name, "Bozo U?" Or "Baggy Pants University?" Imean, wouldn't it stand to reason that a college that trained clowns would have to have a funny name? What aspiring clown would attend a college named, "University of Solemn Endeavours"? Isure wouldn't.
You may think that I am joking, but Iam not. Cheap Wholesale Sunglasses Imean to get to the bottom of this "clown case," so Ican sleep well at nights.
What would a "clown college," have to offer by way of courses? Here is a possible list:
1. Seltzer Bottle 101
2. Climbing Out of a Small Car Studies, Part Cheap Sunglasses 1 and 2
3. Pies In The Face, Advanced Studies.
4. Hiding One's True Emotions by noted "Baggy Pants University," professor, Sir Erik Creamley, retired circus, carnival clown, mentor to Replica Sunglasses Buster Keaton.
5. Falling From High Wire, Remedial Studies.
That would make a world of sense to me if I were to want to pursue a life of hiding behind white face make up, red hair and red rubber nose that honks when grabbed.
And as for this "clown college," I do have a few serious questions. (Did you think that Iwould jump, head long into a college for "clown studies," without asking a few questions first?"
And what about the dean of this, "Baggy Pants University"? Would he resemble Red Skelton, the humble, funny "clown master," as Jerry Lewis called him, or "dean Vernon Wermer," of the cult classic, "Animal House?" Think about it. A clown college would certainly need someone Wholesale Cheap Sunglasses experienced in the field of comedy to command such a rare institution, don't you think?